The Big Applesauce Dreaming

The past week has been more than a little intense for Topher.

After Gabriel stabbed him, he missed out on what happened next. Thankfully for him, he recieved immediate medical help, which was more than a little occupying. Of course, he'd tried to warn people of what he thought Gabe was going to do, but it didn't do much use, from what he gathered. He doesn't even know the details of what happened, as no one seemed to care much about keeping him in the loop, but Gabe seemed to have accomplished what he wanted, and caused more than a little trouble before he escaped. Not to mention quite a few deaths.

And then the moment he's out of intensive care, Topher's moved to a cell. Sure, he still recieves necessary medical care, but he knows for a fact they have at least one healer working for the corporation, yet they don't seem to want to make it that easy for him. He gets suspended while they investigate how much liability he has for what happened. Whether he might even have intended to help Gabe, until he turned on him. Who knows how long they plan to keep him locked up.

What's worst isn't actually the wound, though. He's on painkillers, but unfortunately not enough to leave him unconscious. Now, Topher is pretty used to a life of perpetual conciousness at this point. What makes it so bad is the cell he's kept in, which blocks any form of telepathy or visits to the dreaming. Or, in fact, any contact with the outside world. He's stuck in this little room, and he can't even sleep like he used to before falling through the rift. Awake or asleep, there's not much difference. Either way, he's sitting on his own in an empty room with nothing to distract him from the guilt or the worry or the loneliness.

Guilt over at least two deaths, probably several more, which Topher couldn't quite manage not feeling responsible for, no matter how he told himself that it was Gabe's vendetta. Perhaps if he'd gotten Gabe out more quickly... Perhaps if he'd dealt with the aftermath better. Surely this could've been avoided. But most of him just feels angry and betrayed by the angel. Even so, even if there was no way to stop Gabriel from wanting revenge, Topher could've made it harder for him. What if he'd kept his cool and simply lied to him? Sent him right into the clutches of some guards? These sort of thoughts are the only thing keeping him company the next few days.

Then there's the worry and loneliness. What will Gabe have told the TARDIS about Topher? He's not dead, but he's not around to defend himself either. Perhaps his last ally is gone, not to mention his last friend. If the TARDIS is convinced Topher's the bad one, then surely so will anyone involved with her, as well as with Romac, which includes the Doctor, and Andrew, Ianto, Cecil, probably most of the city. And the rest will hold his involvement with Romac in the first place against him. It would be difficult to make him feel any more alone.

So when Beatrice provides him with a way out, he doesn't argue. Well, he actually couldn't anyway. She apparently got someone on the inside, who gives Topher some drugs that make him appear dead and which have the advantage of actually knocking him out properly. When he wakes up, he's in a different cell, and he's given a choice which isn't really much of a choice. Work for her and they'll protect him, or they cast him back to the wolves. He reluctantly agrees.

After that they fill him on what went down after Gabriel escaped. It doesn't exactly relieve him of his worry, but all things considered, things could've gone a lot worse. It was contained to Romac, at least, who really did bring it on themselves. Topher doesn't mind them being crippled a bit. He could've done without over a dozen deaths, though.

And then finally, finally he's allowed to resume contact with the outside world. He can't leave his bed, but he can visit the dreaming again. Part of him is almost too worried to reach out to anyone. Perhaps he'll just fade into obscurity, keep to the shadows, and survive that way. At least then it's unlikely Gabe will come after him again. Topher is neither a vigilante nor obsessed with revenge. He'd rather just stay as far away as possible.

But the TARDIS... He can't stand not knowing what she thinks of him. So he finally looks for her presence in the dreaming.